Erin Wilson Civil Downsouth Celebrant shares with us her experience and opinion on the topic of men crying at weddings.
After a recent ceremony I have been thinking a lot about the topic of men crying at weddings. I would like to share my views and would love to hear yours.
At this particular wedding, it was the Groom who shed more than a few tears. As the music played and his gorgeous little 2-year-old daughter started to walk down the aisle towards him, the tears flowed heavily and continued as he set eyes on his beautiful bride. In my job you have to have your tears fairly under wraps but I must admit that when the groom shows such raw, honest emotion it gets me every time.
When the topic of tears comes up with my grooms, they always say something like "The boys will give me heaps" or "Hopefully I don't cry or I'll never hear the end of it from the boys". Well, I can assure you not all blokes think your soft and there's an underlying truth to why a few of them will 'poke fun'. My husband is pretty much guaranteed to cry at weddings, funerals and even the odd current affairs show. I have had many male friends comment how they think its great that he wears his heart on his sleeve. I can assure you most men don't really judge. As for the ones that make jokes and tease? I put their reaction down to 20% because society has told them it's weak to show emotion (and their parents didn't teach them better) and 80% because they see the affect it has on women. I know I speak for many of my friends and family when I say that when a man sheds tears in an emotional situation, it turns us girls into mush! It shows how much they care about something other than themselves and that they have the strength to let it show.
Stifling emotions can contribute significantly to the anxiety and depression that so many men suffer as a result of this idea that emotion if weak when, in fact it is quite the opposite. So I say, keep caring and keep crying when you feel it! And for those how who don't, let's build others up instead of knocking them down. Offer a compliment instead of a joke the next time your mate lets it out.
Please note Erin Wilson is no longer as of the 5 February 2019 offering her services as a celebrant in the Southwest region. We have left this article live because we feel it is still offers great wonderful information.