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What is your relationship based on?

The first question we all need to ask ourselves before we make one decision about our wedding day is...what is your relationship based on? What does your relationship mean to you? How long do you expect it to last? How much are you willing to go through to make it last? When you look back to when you both started your relationship how much have you changed and what have you both given up to be with one another?

I have been with my partner for 16 years, I have not married him legally (I will one day just not sure which day) but this doesn't mean that I don't have the same commitment or values as I would without the legalities. We have a child together and if anything I feel I am as committed as anyone that is married. I would not have ever had our child if I didn't think that my partner was in it for the long haul. I do not want to raise our child by myself, not because I can't do it I just don't want that to be the way. Over 16 years we have faced many changes and challenges together. We are both passionate people, hard workers and giving people. I would say we have a fantastic relationship.

I can say that I have learnt from past mistakes in previous relationships and when I see the signs of these arising here I am aware of these situations and I choose to get them sorted out. I want longevity out of my relationship, I want to be comfortable in it, yet I don't want to become complacent and I am quick to remind my partner if he is, because when we are complacent things start to fall apart.

My partner (P) is ying and I am yang but when this is out of balance, watch out we go for the juggler. Our arguments never go long, we both say our piece, walk out of the room and in five minutes later we are both back sitting down and coming to a compromise. In a relationship I truly believe compromise is important, I don't believe in giving up my dreams, ideals or values. We have friends together and we have friends from our past which are still part of our life. I can sometimes be the hand break on P but I don't think I suffocate his day (he will remind me when I have pushed it too far).

I don't mind washing his clothes, cooking tea, cleaning the house or doing the shopping as we are a team (I won't pick up his pyjamas at the side of the bed each morning though!). I have never loved someone as much as I do P and I have no intention to love another man. The time we have been together feels like it has flown by considering some people say you get less time for murder. Our relationship makes me strong and at times makes me vulnerable. I wouldn't change a thing.

How do you see your relationship?

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